The Most Important Thing
Dr. David Rafeedie
Once upon a time, in a downtown business section of the city, sat a man in his corner desk looking out the windows at the magnificent views. He was very successful by any standard one cared to compare him. The man was well known and highly thought of in the corporate world for his leadership skills and decision-making. Yet, he sat there looking out the wall-to-wall, floor-to-ceiling windows but not seeing. His brilliant mind was full but not of the view. He had two questions on his mind that had nothing to do with the business of the company. Two one-word questions had been buzzing about his mind for months. But this was his first attempt to take the time to answer them. The first time he pulled his brain from work to think about something other than work at the workplace. In particular, the first question kept passing through the recesses of his mind trying to break through into a thought. It finally succeeded as he sat there staring out of his window.
How? He asked himself, "How did I get here?" Here is precisely where you wanted to be the moment you were hired, he thought to himself. "No, that is not what I am asking. I know where I am, but I am wondering how I got here." You're asking me?!
Then he turned the other question over in his mind. Why? Why is being in this office and having all the perks so vital to me? Why have I worked so hard, given my life really, to be where I am today? Who cares! You made it, baby! That's all that counts, a voice from somewhere inside replied. "Is it?"
This successful businessman that I will name Bill (I don't know any Bill's. Just kidding Bill, but it's not about you.) is struggling with meaning and purpose. Two big questions; the meaning of life and work and his purpose in it. He would articulate that at this point, but something is gnawing at him, and those are two huge questions. When you think you have it all, you start wondering what "all" really is. So here is a question for you:
What is the most important thing in your life right now? Take a moment to think about the question before you answer. Got the answer? Good—don't tell me what it is. Does the answer relate to work, personal life, NCIS reruns on Netflix? Whatever it is, what you just did is an excellent exercise. Now reflect on your answer. You never know where that reflection will lead. It can be a pathway to contentment and fulfillment, or who knows; it might lead to a change in direction.
Most people have important things in their life and work they can readily identify. Some may not have to think about the answer and will spill it out immediately. But few people stop to reflect on "why" that is most important. Instead, they may feel it is the right answer without thinking about it, and the right answer might be the right answer. But why is it the right answer?
I recently had a client, let's call him Bill (not his real name, honest.), who wants to explore the "why" of what he was doing. He had lost track of the why in the busyness of his business. It was the "why" that gave meaning to what he was doing. He could articulate it, and it motivated him as he interacted with his clients. And his clients could sense his "why," and they appreciated it and trusted him because of its focus. It was a decisive moment when my client reconnected with his "why."
As a leader, "why" has benefits that lead to success. It isn't just personal; it impacts what you do and how you do it. "Why" may be the most critical question we ask ourselves. As Simon Sinek says in his book, Start with Why "It starts with clarity. You have to know WHY you do WHAT you do. If people don't buy the WHAT you do, they buy WHY you do it, so it follows that if you don't know WHY you do WHAT you do, how anyone else."
But reconnecting with your "why" isn't quite enough. You are not there yet, but you are close. So here is the final question, "What are you going to do about it?" What changes do you need to make sure you value and act upon what or who is the most important thing in your life. How can you keep from taking it for granted and becoming laisse faire again? Hey, did I say, final question—singular? Here is the bottom line for you and me, we must cherish the most important thing in our lives. And we must pursue that thing or person with all the energy we can muster.
I am passionate about partnering with people to help them discover what drives them and how to channel that into action. What is your "why?" Email me at info@davidthecoach.com, text me, or feel free to call me on 520-709-1860. If you like, text me your name and phone number, and I will contact you to start a conversation to explore a coaching relationship.
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Sinek, S. (2009). Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone To Take Action. New York: Portfolio/Penguin.