Dr. David Rafeedie

If I had to pick one characteristic of a successful, influential leader, it would be communication. Without clear communication, there is no shared vision. There is no team alignment around the mission of the team and organization. Without clear communication, progress is stilted. How important is good communication? Check out this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sShMA85pv8M

 Based on my many, many, many years of experience, communication is the most crucial characteristic of an influential leader. Moses, who stuttered, and I used to discuss this all the time. Ok, I am not that old or have that many years of experience. But I have had formal training in communication, and I have a fair amount of expertise communicating verbally and in writing.

 Based on the above examples, you might think that I will say speaking is the most crucial part of communication. Of course, it is important, but I do not believe talking is the most important part of verbal communication. It is the other part of communication I think is most important. That is, listening. I believe that because what we hear will determine how we respond.

 The fact is, as a leader, if you do all the talking, people will begin to think you like to hear the sound of your own voice. Or that you believe you have all the answers. Or that you do not think much of what they might think on a given subject. Talking too much will mitigate your ability to inspire and move your team. On the other hand, if you listen more than you talk, your response will be given the weight it deserves. I will discuss that more below.

Listening well is an art. Learning how to listen well is satisfying for you and the person who is talking to you. When you do not listen well, and there is miscommunication, there is no satisfaction by anyone. And worse, bad things can happen when there is miscommunication. Anyone who has had any relationship knows this by experience.

The first and obvious result of poor communication is a misunderstanding. Misunderstanding can lead to hurt feelings and, worse, severe tension amid the team and organization. Misunderstanding can lead to a non-productive team, and that negatively impacts results. Tension can, at times, become a conflict. The work results suffer because poor communication can lead to the wrong thing and doing it at the wrong time.

Conflict can move a team to a toxic culture and low morale. Dealing with issues of a negative nature requires direct and clear communication from the leader to the team. That means listening to the team well and responding to the issue.

 Hearing  Influential leaders listen more than they talk. They work hard at listening and do so very intentionally. Influential leaders practice active listening.  

Active listening eliminates poor listening skills. One of the most significant poor habits most of us struggle with is formulating a response as we are listening and then trying desperately to respond with our well thought out response. And doing that is always visible to the person speaking. And by the time the person we are listening to finishes, our answer is based on something the person said earlier in their talk. Practicing active listening will show the person you are talking to that you respect them.

 Active listening

1.    Listen carefully to the words, not to respond but to understand. Do not start building the response as you are listening. Just listen! No one can multi-task. We all only do one thing at a time, some faster than others.

2.    Repeat back to the person what you heard them say to ensure you understood what they were saying.

3.    Clarify with them if what you heard is correct. Use the “I” pronoun instead of the “you” pronoun. For example, “What I heard you say is ___________, is that accurate?”

 When you are in the room, be in the room. Make eye contact. Listen to hear and clarify to make sure you got it right.

 Responding

 What happens when you communicate well, that is, practice active listening and respond to what you hear in a way that reflects you heard.

•  It generates respect for you as the leader. Everyone respects people who do more listening than they do talking. Your listening reflects your respect for them as an individual and a professional. It shows you think what they have to say is a significant contribution to the discussion.

• It opens the door to allow you to inspire your team. Wordiness does not illuminate or inspire. In case you miss the point, I will say it this way: Wordiness does not inspire. Carefully chosen words and opportunities inspire. A concise vision inspires.

• It brings mission alignment to your team and, by extension, to your organization.

• It creates an environment to build a healthy team and a healthy culture.

I am passionate about partnering with leaders like you to improve communication and team alignment; the result is change and growth for you and your team. Email me at info@davidthecoach.com, text me, or feel free to call me on 520-709-1860. If you like, text me your phone number, and I will contact you to start a conversation to explore a coaching relationship.

 If you are reading this on social media, check out my website at www.davidthecoach.com.  Download my Four Fundamental Characteristics of an Influential Leader while you are there. You will also find more blogs on leadership, team development, and other subjects dealing with success factors.