The Invisible Door

Dr. David Rafeedie

Mary felt like her world was crashing down around her. The position she held in her company for the last 20 years was eliminated. It was a great job. She was one of two directors in the HR department. Not the C-suite, but it was an excellent living, and she loved what she did. One of the things she loved most about her job was being in the center of things. Involved in important decisions regard HR, which impacted the employees and the company in positive ways. She felt she was contributing in significant ways to the accomplishment of the mission of the company. And she was.

Now, she was not only out of the loop; she was out of the company. She felt lost and emotionally depressed. At her age, she assumed, there would be nothing for her. The thought of sitting at home all day long chilled her and depressed her even more. Her worst nightmare would be to know all the characters in the soap operas by name.

Maybe you can relate to how Mary is feeling. There are a lot of different kinds of transitions in the world. Some are great, like marriage, or having your first child, for example. Some are not so great, loss of a job or worse, loss of a loved one. Some find retirement hard to take.

Let’s face it—transitions can be tough. Uncomfortable and even sometimes dangerous. But there is a truth about transitions often forgotten when you are in the middle of one. It is a truth that is inescapable. It holds for any transition you can experience.

The most forgotten truth of every transition: On the other side of every transition is another door designed just for you. The transition hides it. Good transition, bad transition, neutral transition, that door is waiting for you. And that door leads to a new beginning. There are no transitions that lead to dead ends. As a man of faith, I know that even the ultimate transition of death is not the end. Life continues!

“What must I do to find the door?”

Look for it. Sometimes you don’t have to look too hard. It almost knocks you down it opens to fast on the other side of the transition. But sometimes the door is more subtle, and you have to be patient as you look for it. And it looks different for everyone. My door looks different than your door. Mine is designed for me and yours for you.

You will know the door when you see it. I know that sounds mystical (think Twilight Zone theme). But it isn’t; well, maybe a little mystical. Most of you have experienced this phenomenon when shopping for clothes. You are not sure what you are looking for, but when you see it, you know that is exactly what you want. When you see your door, you will recognize it as your door.

Have the courage to walk through your door. Good or bad, walking through a transition successfully requires guts and toughness. Walking through your door on the other side of that transition often requires courage. On the other side of your door is hope. On the other side of the door is a new beginning designed just for you. It is your path; it is your journey to live.

Stay connected to the good things of the present when you walk through your door; the good things like memories, friends, and family. You don’t have to be alone on the other side of the door. If you are alone, don’t stay that way. Be open to new relationships.

Following the four steps above will help you focus as you walk through your transition. While your surroundings may still look a little murky and your emotions and thoughts encompassed in fog, intentionally going through the steps above will help you put one foot in front of the other. And sometimes in a transition, that is a win! And when you put one foot in front of the other, you are making progress. You are progressing to the other side of the transition and toward the door designed just for you.

Mary’s story above was fictional. But the experience is very real for many. I know from personal experience that some transitions are very dark. I have walked through several of the dark ones myself over the years. I can tell you from experience, even though I didn’t see the door on the other side of the transitions as I was going through them, the door was always there.

And on the other side of that door is light. Embrace it! It is designed just for you.

Coaching will help you through the transition you are experiencing, good or bad. Working with a coach, you will discover your door faster than you thought possible. And a coach can empower you to walk through that door with confidence. If you find yourself in transition, email me at info@davidthecoach.com, or text or call me 520-709-1860, and let’s start a conversation to see if I can help you.

If you are reading this on social media, check out my website at www.davidthecoach.com.  You will also find more blogs on transitions, fear, leadership, and other subjects dealing with success factors.