Fear is Our Ally

Dr. David Rafeedie

Bill was staring at the phone. He had been staring at it for the better part of an hour. He filled his time in that hour cleaning off his desk, making up a to-do list, texted his wife, and tried desperately to figure something else he could rationalize to do so he would not have to pick up the phone. The phone might as well be a rattlesnake. That’s it! “I will see if there is a rattlesnake in the back yard. After all, this is Arizona. “

I find it fascinating that a phone can be so scary when looking for clients, but a welcome tool when booking a vacation, or calling a friend, or ordering something that caught your eye. I experience the same fear myself. I can think of all kinds of things to do before picking up the phone. I work from home, so I might vacuum—my wife loves it when I do that! Does the car need washing? No, I did that yesterday. I could clean my clubs. In reality, I am diligent at getting my work done.

Of course, it isn’t the phone that is scary. It is the rejection we know is on the other end. Let’s face it; sales is a head game. Even if the lead has been generated for us, it is scary to pick up the phone and call because we don’t like rejection.

I have said many times—fear can be a powerful ally if we view it correctly. We need the right perspective on fear to be able to manage it and yes, use it to our advantage. I have other blogs on fear that you can see on my website, so I won’t repeat myself (mostly). But I will say, fear is a powerful motivator. It can cause us to act like a deer in the headlights, or it can move us to success.

Fear is a natural emotion. It can save our lives under the right circumstances. If you are hiking and come across a rattlesnake, fear will inform you to skedaddle.  Especially if it is coiled! Because fear is natural, we should accept the fact that we get scared sometimes. Here is the question you should always ask when fear rears its head; What am I afraid of? Reflect on that and write down what comes to mind.

 Sometimes for me, it is a lack of confidence. Not in my speaking ability or coaching service—I know I do those things well. But a lack of confidence in myself. “Who am I to be bothering this person?” “What if they are busy?” “What if they tell me to get lost?” What a blow to the ego that would be. Or, “Why would this group want me to come and speak to them?”

Of course, the great majority of people are very nice. If they are busy, they will tell me they can’t talk now, and I will try and elicit a good time to get back to them. If they tell me to get lost, they tell me to get lost. I don’t know that person. It isn’t like it’s my wife or son telling me to get lost. Hey, it’s their loss!

Two big keys in overcoming fear and finding success are:

Key #1. Confidence in your product or service. How do my clients benefit from what I have to offer?

Let’s face it if you are pushing a product you don’t believe in why are you doing it? Find something else that you can believe and go for it. You will be much happier and probably more successful.

If you do believe in what you are selling or the service you are providing, or the product you are producing, then focus on the benefit you bring to your clients and potential clients.

Key #2. Confidence in yourself. How do I keep my strengths at the forefront of what I think and do?

You control your inner voice. Ask yourself this question; “What am I thinking when I am feeling fear to pick up that phone—or before I walk into that business?” If it is negative self-talk, capture it! Then throw it out, don’t let it build. Replace it with more positive and realistic self-talk about yourself.

Fear is your ally—it should cause you to self-evaluate in positive ways. Then you can break the barrier of fear that hinders and sometimes eliminates progress.

I have focused on sales in this blog, but the two keys above can apply to many areas of life and work. How you manage fear can be the difference between success or failure. It can be a great motivator that causes you to think about overcoming the fear intentionally, or it can be debilitating causing you to freeze in your tracks.

Coaching can make a real difference when wanting to develop strategies for overcoming fear. Email me at info@davidthecoach.com and let’s have a conversation to see if I can help you or your team.

If you are reading this on social media, check out my website at www.davidthecoach.com.  You will also find more blogs on fear and other subjects dealing with leadership, team and team development, and other success factors.