Transitions: A Common One These Days
Dr. David Rafeedie
Note: This is another article in a series regarding transitions. This transition is the transition to retirement. If you are not retirement age, don’t shut down! One day you will retire, and there are some good tips here to help you on your journey to that day that will make it easier for you. If you develop some habits now, you will find this particular transition easier and more fulfilling.
We have all heard the stories. Someone retires, and a year later they have passed away. Or they become depressed at the drastic change in their lives. And then there are others who flourish. They enjoy this time of life after working hard for many years. None of these scenarios have to do with finances, necessarily. This article assumes you will be bringing in enough money or you wouldn’t be retiring from your work. And I am not a financial advisor, so I have no tips for making your money go further. It isn’t about the ten best places for retired people to live, and it isn’t about buying a dog or a pig for companionship. There are plenty of resources out there for all of those things. This article is about making retirement meaningful regardless of where you live or what kind of pet you have.
I confess I struggled writing this article. I kept wanting to put the word retire in parentheses. These days retirement doesn’t mean what it meant for prior generations. Today’s boomers who are retiring are healthier than their parents were at this age and they are in better shape. With more energy and vitality retirement doesn’t mean suddenly stopping and doing nothing but sit in a rocking chair on the porch.
But it is not age specific. If you are near retirement or retired this article is certainly for you. But if you are not near retirement, there is helpful information for you if you are wise enough to look ahead.
There is history here
Retirement is relatively new phenomena. People now live longer, and they don’t keel over at a young age while still working. The keeling over is postponed, sometimes for many years.
Historically speaking, retirement is a luxury. It is driven by greater life expectancy and government and corporate social nets like social security and pensions.
Here are a couple of interesting links to follow that discuss the history of retirement.
This link takes you an interesting article in The Atlantic
https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2014/10/how-retirement-was.../381802/
Wikipedia has some interesting statistics and factoids concerning retirement.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Retirement
There are a lot of interesting articles and a plethora of good books out there regarding retirement. Many have to do with wealth and how much you need to retire on. But others are written regarding finding meaning in your retirement years. What I am about to share is not a scientific study, but based on some interviews I have done with some people who have retired. The information is common sense stuff that I trust you will find meaningful whether you are retired, about to retire, or probably will retire someday. Here are some factors that impact retirement.
What you did for a living
What you did for a living will have an impact on how you retire. Are you a hard charger? That doesn’t change when you retire. If you are a hard charger in your profession, you need to find something to charge hard at in retirement. You will need to do something! And you will need to do something that is meaningful to you.
If you are a workaholic, you are in an especially vulnerable place. If you take or took your identity from your work, then you will feel lost when you retire. Retirement will feel like hitting a wall. When my wife and I moved to Canada, I was in my early forties and learned to ice skate. Skating was easy. We used to roller skate all the time on the strand when we lived in southern California. I grew up roller skating or skateboarding. A piece of cake. The problem I encountered with ice skating wasn’t moving; it was stopping. To this day I use the boards to stop. And if I am moving fast (for me) that can hurt.
If you are a workaholic and you retire, it can be like hitting the boards. That is a sudden and hard stop!
What do you find meaningful
I believe it is always important for human beings to be involved in something meaningful. Something that is bigger than themselves and bigger than their work. In my view, we are designed that way. After interviewing many who have retired (nothing scientific—but many), I have come to understand that “meaningful” means something different for everyone. But there are some common threads. In those interviews, they used words like fulfilling, fun, less stress, outdoors, more active
Volunteering (This was big)
Hobby
Meaningful travel. That is, going to another part of the country or to a completely different country to serve.
How you view retirement is important. Your perspective will make a world of difference for you and for those who are close to you, like a spouse or other family.
Second Chapter—pursuing new milestones
I have always admired people who at “retirement” started a whole new career. Or, they start a business. Starting something new at retirement age is new frontier conqueror stuff. It is exciting and breathes life into an individual. Especially, if it something you have always wanted to do. Go for it!
And if you are thinking of retiring early, then you had better have something lined up, whether it is volunteering, a significant hobby, or striking into a new venture. As it turns out, retiring early with not much to do can be hazardous to your health.
www.foxnews.com/.../is-social-security-to-blame-for-so-many-men-dying-at-62.html
Adjustments to relationships are huge
With your spouse, if you are married. If you and your spouse are both retired—great! It is ok if you still have some separate hobbies or other things that you may do separately. But it is also a great time to hang out together. But the relationship will take some adjustment. This not a negative. It is a sign of a healthy relationship.
With your family. Your kids with kids may view you as babysitter in chief. And it is good to be available. But get a life! Have boundaries and enjoy doing what you want to do. Sound selfish? I think it sounds healthy. But you will have more time to attend the grandkids events.
With your friends. If you are all retired, you get to hang out at McDonald's and have coffee. I read somewhere the fries at McDonald's has a chemical that fights baldness (seriously, check it out, www.delish.com/food-news/news/.../mcdonalds-french-fry-chemical-baldness-study/ ). You can deepen the relationships you have, drink coffee, and grow hair.
Let’s face it; retirement is a big life transition. How we view that transition will go a long way in determining how we do when we retire. My friend, Nancy McNaughton, a professional life coach, www.nancymcnaughton.com, www.facebook.com/drealitycoaching/, says we should view transitions as neutral.
“When I say that transitions are neutral, this allows for simple acceptance of it being just that. We typically experience change as a state of unknown. We have lost or have left something familiar or comfortable. It can also be a time where we have let go of a familiar habit. This state of unknown allows for our imaginations to take flight. So we may begin to fill in the gap with fears and worst case scenarios. Anxiety and unrest begins to accompany the time of transition and it can close our hearts and minds to positive opportunities.
When we accept this time as open or "neutral", it allows for calm and openness. We embrace each moment as an opportunity for "the new". Change or transition becomes our friend, rather than a place in time where we experience "what ifs" and fear of the unknown. Transition or change becomes our friend free of doubt and worry. Our minds and hearts are clear to recognize positive outcomes and opportunities.”
If you are looking to the future and wondering, “What next?”, I can help you on your journey. If you are reading this on social media, check out my website by right-clicking this link, www.davidthecoach.com for more articles and information on this topic and more. Hit the contact me button to start a conversation.