Dr. David Rafeedie

Last year, 2020, I was sitting in my home office listening to Christmas carols on my phone with my office Christmas lights on and wondering what I would write about for the January blog. Everyone and their sister will be writing on new beginnings. Great time to start this or that. The perfect time to stop this or that. Most of it is probably good advice—again. We have heard it all before. I wanted to write something fresh. I was a little distressed that I would end up doing the same thing as others might be doing. "No way!" I thought. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks.

 I realized I was going to do the same thing. But if I could pick one thing that would benefit everyone regardless of who they are, something that would be antithetical to the times we live in would be good. So, I decided to write on the dangers of being passive. Passivity is one of my pet peeves. During a time like this, I see people being passive in many ways to their detriment. People are just standing by and waiting. They are reacting. They are accepting. And mostly, they view themselves as helpless to move beyond their circumstances. I am going to say it; being passive is dangerous in many ways.

 Why is being passive dangerous? The dictionary defines passive as accepting or allowing what happens or what others do, without active response or resistance. Here is an example that people who like football can understand. The rest of you will get the point. Talk about being passive is dangerous; how about the so-called prevent defense in football. The only thing it seems to “prevent” is the team in the lead from winning. How many times have we seen the other team march down the field to score the winning field goal or touch down? And yet, coaches keep using it instead of being aggressive, which is what got them the lead in the first place. Dumb. Sorry coach.

 Here are a few critical areas in life to be aggressive or pro-active in that will allow you to continue making progress.

 Fight passivity in your thinking:

 Emotionally, it would be best if you experienced a sense of wellbeing instead of living in fear. If we are passive in controlling our emotions and giving them reign in our minds, it is easy to let fear or anger overtake us during times like this. We can have peace even when the future seems bleak. I am not talking about forced positive thinking, but real emotional stability in unstable times, regardless of your circumstances. How do you do that?

 By controlling the negative self-talk. Do you realize that you talk to yourself more than anyone else does? Do you know that your emotions and sometimes your behavior responds to your self-talk? Don't let the negative self-talk dominate the internal conversation; capture those negative words, and replace them with positive words grounded in truth. The truth is, most of us are not as bad as we say we are in our self-talk. What we are experiencing is not as harmful as our self-talk makes it seem. It is not the end of the world.

 Fight passivity in your spirituality:  

 A great majority of the earth's population is on some kind of spiritual journey. A healthy spirituality helps to build overall wellness and emotional stability. Spirituality speaks to our values and our purpose in life. Most people on a spiritual journey would like to be making progress in their journey. But progress cannot be accomplished by being passive.

 I am a man of Christian faith. I believe Jesus willingly died on the cross for humanity's sins, rose again on the third day, and gives salvation to those who receive him. This truth grounds me in my identity, and my identity as a follower of Jesus and child of God informs my values and gives purpose to my life.

 Being proactive in your spirituality, as in other areas of your life, will keep you out of the danger of being enslaved by your circumstances and wrong thinking.

Fight passivity and consider your future:

Where are you headed? Don't yell, I know for some of you that is tough to answer right now with any kind of certainty. Perhaps I should have asked, "Where do you want to be by the end of 2021?" If you could wave a magic wand and an ideal end of this year would happen, what would it look like?

Plan to get to where you want to be. If you are passive, it will not happen. In reality, there is no magic wand. You will have to work to get to where you want to be at the end of the year.

 When you plan, in a sense, you are shaping your future. You will not have control over everything that happens, but you can set your direction and move toward your target.

 Fight passivity by taking action in each of the areas above. Those areas are not exhaustive, but they are the big ones less one. The other big area is physical. For that area, a personal trainer would be more helpful than me. But in the areas above, I can help you be at your best. That will impact your family, your business, or your profession in profoundly important ways. I would love to have a conversation with you about what you have read, leadership or team development. Please email me at info@davidthecoach.com or text or call me on 520-709-1860.

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