Dr. David Rafeedie

Jim was the founder and CEO of “Good to Grate.” (Not the real name or mission of the company). His company designed, manufactured, and installed commercial and residential designer grating and ironwork. He and his employees took their motto seriously, “We work hard to be grate.”

As an entrepreneur, he was full of ideas and energy. He survived the startup and the days of irregular paychecks. As the company grew, he had to figure out how to hire the right people to do the work. That took time, and it was and is a gamble. He thought he had a pretty good team. But he was still constantly running, almost always on the phone, and continually moving the piles on his desk trying to keep up with everything. His business was working at capacity, and he was wondering how to handle the increase that kept on coming. Not knowing how to move forward was stressful.

Jim also had a family. A busy family. Between the kid's sports, church activities, and volunteering, he had no margin. By the end of the day he and his wife were exhausted.

No time to think, to find some quiet time, or “me” stuff. Jim kept telling himself when kids reached the driving age; home life would be simpler. When his business reached a certain point, it wouldn’t be so busy for him. He had been telling himself those things for about ten years. It never occurred to him that perhaps that time was not going to come because of the way he organized his business and personal life.

There were a couple of issues for Jim to face. For his thriving business, like many entrepreneurs, Jim had a decision to make; to grow or be satisfied with where the business is and begin turning down business. [That issue is a blog for another time] He wasn’t sure how to move forward into the future. It was almost the same feeling he had when he first started his business.

On the personal side, Jim and his wife faced what many couples face; they had a hectic pace of getting the kids to their activities, plus their involvement in various activities apart from the kids. Between the business and the family, Jim had no margin in life. He needed help, he knew he needed help, but he didn’t know what kind of help he needed.

Here are four simple, but not easy, steps to finding space in your demanding world:

1. Prioritize the space you want. Make the time to think about the space you wish you had. What does that space look like in your best dreams?  It doesn’t cost a thing to dream. Be specific. How long will it be? What do you want to be doing in that space? Who is in that space with you, if anyone?

2. Organize around the space you want, not the other way around. If space is the priority, then organize around it. What steps do you have to take to make space happen? What do you have to organize? For example, in Jim’s case, he has to decide if he wants to grow the business or not. How does he decide? What does he do next?   

3. Be tough and gracious. Punish yourself when you fail. Sometimes the guilt one feels, or the stress one experiences are punishment enough. But if it isn’t, you have to find a unique way to let yourself know there is a negative price to pay.  On the other hand, reward yourself when you are successful at making the space you need to be healthy. If you are healthy and rested, you make better decisions.  

4. Find accountability. Everyone needs accountability. You may have the best plan in the world, but if you don’t implement, the plan is fanciful daydreaming. Finding a trusted accountability partner who can help keep you on track requires a little humility. As the 17th Century writer, John Dunne, wrote, “No man is an island. No one is self-sufficient; everyone relies on others.”

Implementing the steps to finding space requires courage, will, and a certain humility to admit that you need help and accountability. A good beginning is to talk to your life partner and get his or her thoughts. You might be surprised at what you hear. After getting their support, put a plan together and then implement your plan.

Coaching can make a positive difference. Through a coaching relationship, you will be able to find the space and accountability to maintain it. And in Jim’s case, coaching helped him through his business decisions. If you are looking for space in life or facing a challenging time in your business, email me at info@davidthecoach.com and let’s have a conversation. I would love to explore a coaching relationship with you.

If you are reading this on social media, check out my website at www.davidthecoach.com.  You will also find more blogs on transitions, leadership, team development, and other success factors there.